It's my senior year, and I'm trying to find every way I can to get as much out of this year as possible. But I keep hitting roadblocks. Everything I think of I can't do because I'm average at everything. I'll get my hopes up and think that I really can do a job well, and then someone else gets the job. I should get used to it, because it's part of the business that I want to get into. I just wish that there was some talent or quality that I had that no one else has. And the only thing that ever made me feel like I was more than just average is gone.
The only comfort I've been able to find for weeks was when I watched The Dark Knight a few days ago. But I hate to say that even that didn't work 100%. Talk about a great movie, though. I mean, damn, that's about as close to perfect as any movie can get.
Whatever lesson I'm supposed to learn from this part of my life, I wish it would just become clear. The worst part is sitting back watching everything happen knowing that I can do something, but not being able to.