Saturday, August 1, 2009

Clogged

I have no other way of describing myself other than "clogged". I can't think about anything else. I can't get myself to do anything. I can't sleep without sleeping pills because my mind won't shut up.
Every time that I feel like I've made progress and that I will make it through this situation, something happens that puts me in a crappy, crappy mood.
Also, I'm worried that my instincts are right. They have been right about most all of the bad stuff that has happened lately, but with what I'm currently thinking about, I sincerely truly hope that I am wrong.
I feel like I have no one to turn to.
I feel completely alone. For the first time in my life.
Completely alone.

But you know, I've always been pretty independent and I'm used to dealing with problems on my own. At this point, the thing I hate most is the fact that she has to go through so much shit. I feel like she finally had a happy life and then it got crapped on and ruined. I hate that she has to go through this, and I hate that I can't be there for her. I hate it.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

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